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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing. Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts..."

"For every player who credits God for the win, a player from the opposing team can logically blame God for the loss."

"What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel."

"I can't tell if I'm an alcoholic or a necrophiliac... ... I just love to crack open a cold one every once in a while."

"Why don't Jehovah's witnesses celebrate Halloween? They don't appreciate strangers coming up to their door."

"I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too"

"I THINK [boyfriend goes by] YOU'RE TOO [boyfriend goes by] YOUNG FOR ME [boyfriend goes by] -me breaking up w/ my boyfriend at the carousel"

"Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you have to drink a lot of it."

"Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant? Gnocchi."