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Joke of the Day

"A tornado is about 5 minutes away and our satellite is out. I hope our house lands somewhere where the cable works!"

"One of my ""100 things to do before you die"" would definitely be ""call an ambulance""."

"What do you call a friendly Chinese man who gives out free firewood? Kind Ling"

"What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery? ""Suture self!"""

"My Friends Call Me A Pedophile Because she's 18 and I'm 30, but I'll be damned if I let them ruin our seven year anniversary."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It was known for blowing up for no reason"

"What do you call a German guy that measure horses Hands"

"""Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""I said... Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""Ted?"" ""THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."""

"Why do 19th century dancers repeat the last word in their sentences? Because they cancan."

"... You are so stupid that you got hit by a parked car!"