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Joke of the Day

"My son asked me what it was like to be married I deleted all the music off his iPod except one song."

"Why did the Smackhead kick the habit? He didn't like nuns."

"Wife: for the last time buy a terrarium Me: [drops 7 lizards into my shirt] why they already have a home"

"Lawyer: ""What is your date of birth?"" Witness: ""July 15th."" Lawyer: ""What year?"" Witness: ""Every year."""

"How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. But it takes 5 episodes."

"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""

"I see your childhood joke and raise you mine: What object crashes the most? A kaleidoscope!"

"Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody"

"I saw the youtube-comment-jokes and raise you the edition I found while listening to skrillex! https://dl.dropbox.com/u/87956689/reddit/youtube.PNG"

"Have you heard about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally."