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Joke of the Day

"The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare"

"I just found out that his full name is actually....Vehicle Identification Number Diesel."

"I tried the blowjob trick with dogs and peanut butter I don't know what the fuss is all about. It tasted terrible."

"I just explained Google to my Granny. ""Pick anything to search for"" I told her. ""What about a nice cream pie?"" She asked. ""Except that."" I replied."

"If you masturbate on an plane, is it ""hi-jacking""?"

"She said, ""Are you even listening to me? This is important!"" I said, ""I don't know, pizza?"" And that's how the fight started"

"What's Gordon Ramsay's least favourite movie? ITS FUCKING FROZEN!"

"A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community."

"How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian? It rhymes when they say. ""Keep at eye out for a coyote."""

"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A: A melon collie."