1992

Joke of the Day

"Shoplifting or rape If you have sex with a prostitue and pay with a cheque that bounces is it shoplifting or rape?"

"*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar."

"Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There's a nap for that."

"We had a ninja competition tonight but we don't know if anyone showed up."

"I can't afford a police siren so I just taped a crying baby to the top of my car. It's working, people are moving out of my way."

"Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record."

"What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They drive real slow in the school zones."

"If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day... what is the first one called? a whore-derve"

"""Hey girl... You a pokemon trainer?"" Because you make my wiggly tuff"

"Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks."