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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record."

"Some dude just ran into Starbucks, grabbed coconut water yelling ""white people milk"" and left. Went outside, coconut water all over street"

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mick Jagger Barbie ...Mick with Barbie's head...but Mick's lips"

"Did you here the one about the midget that finally admitted he was gay? He came out of the cupboard."

"For Halloween my husband asked me to dress up as a nurse, cause that's one of his fantasies: That we have health care."

"The best thing about the south is... They still hang their knickers in the front lawn."

"What's the difference between a church and a mosque? In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew."

"Diarrhea is the #2 cause of death in the U.S."

"The distance this fish swam... Is a SCALER not a vector."