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Joke of the Day

"*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar."

"I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower. Exactly. I'M the idiot in a slasher film."

"Did you hear about the new PBR-flavored bagel spread ""Pabst schmear"""

"""Gotham deserves a relaxed hero that smells of lavender."" - Bathman"

"What were the founding father's favorite cereals? Chex and Balance"

"I win all games of strip-poker by starting out nude."

"What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely? Pole Position"

"What game do you play with a wombat? Wom."

"Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me."

"what's green and floats? a leaf"