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Joke of the Day
"Why is the universe feminine in nature? Because it's made up of galaxies."
Next Joke
"How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen? Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up...."
"There's an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn't just hard it's impossible."
"Terrify your parents by answering your cellphone."
"Remember when we were young enough to order mozzarella sticks and not think, ""maybe deep fried cheese isn't the best life decision?"""
"Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle."
"Just once I'd like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."
"What do you call a group of African superheroes? The Jaundice League"
"I poked my eye out .("
"Why don't off duty police men fire grenades into children's cribs? If you're good at something never do it for free."