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Joke of the Day

"Going to the toy store, pressing the ""TRY ME"" button on a toy and the fucking thing wont stop...So you just try to get the fuck out of there like nothing happened."

"Too err is human... To blame the next guy is even more so."

"What's the difference between ""Fake News"" and CNN? I don't know Reddit, that's why I'm asking you?"

"What do you call a group of grandmothers making out with each other? A bunch of bi Nanas."

"I didn't worry much when my parachute didn't open I didn't understand the gravity of the situation"

"Where do kids with ADHD go for the summer? Concentration camp."

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room, because it's black."

"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""

"I'm very sorry for your loss, but do you know if this funeral home has wi-fi?"

"It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?"