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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"Jared Leto's primary preparation for his role as the Joker was changing his middle name to Stil"

"Farting sense Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!"

"What do you call a chicken coop with four doors? A chicken sedan"

"If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need."

"[interview] BOSS: So you have zero experience? ME: Hire me & I'll give u a sweet nickname B: That's absurd.. ME: Lazerwolf B: Welcome aboard"

"How can you tell if your wife left you? You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!"

"Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation."

"Best jokes come from real life. This happened this morning. The toilet is clogged. My wife and I both insist we've only gone #1. One of us is full of crap and the other one is full of crap."