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Joke of the Day

"What did the lobster do at the disco? Pulled a muscle."

"I'm only 19 and my eyesight is constantly getting worse. When do I get Adult Supervision?"

"Did you hear they're planting in a million trees throughout Harlem? In a city effort to improve public transportation."

"Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he's losing at Risk."

"Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She threw out all the W's."

"stay safe this international men's day. make sure your man is at least 165 degrees in the center"

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"

"Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers."

"if a single teacher cant teach us all subjects,how is a student supposed to learn all the fucking subjects?"

"My local newspaper is running an innuendo competition. I might enter my sister."