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Joke of the Day
"My friends think I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the protestors killing the circus? They went straight for the juggler."
"Two snakes meet in the jungle... Two snakes meet in the jungle. One asks the other: ""Are we poisonous?? "" The other says: ""Why do you ask?"" The first replys: ""I just bit my tongue..."""
"Velcro... That's a rip off"
"What was the black guys reaction to the 3/5ths compromise? I can't even"
"Made a Freudian slip, with my ex-wife. I meant to say: ""Hello"" but actually said: ""You silly cow, you've ruined my life."""
"Do you know why Dead Baby jokes never get old? Because they die so young."
"MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming"
"*experiences all five stages of grief while the waiter walks by my table with what I thought was my dinner*"
"A Spanish magician is performing a trick. He says ""I will disappear in Uno, Dos... -"" He vanished without a tres."