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Joke of the Day

"What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-antdead-antdead-ant"

"A man walks into a bar.. ..all the bottles fall down."

"Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her."

"Waiter what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder! I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !"

"Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer."

"BOSS: I suspect one of you wrongly uses nouns as verbs. Everyone turns around and stairs at me."

"Bad News: I'm back on Ambien. Good News: Side effects include the chance of hallucinations. Best News: Just ate lunch with Jesus."

"Hey girl, are you a repost? Because I fucking hate you and wish you didn't exist."

"I'm really impressed by both Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner... Both women got famous by making a dick disappear."

"A man left his wife because he found out she was a prostitute and, boy, had he rung up a bill!"