198905
Joke of the Day
"The Subjunctive mood is pointless. If I were to create a language, I wouldn't include it."
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"If someone ever intimidates you just remember that they're 70% water. *Are you afraid of water...?* Well you should be 300,000 people drown every year."
"""Flight 1234 for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.."" ""But Center we are at 35000 feet how much noise can we make up here?"" ""Sir have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?"""
"Jews are lazy... ... essentially a group of people who couldn't be bothered to read the sequel. -Will Bailey (Cambridge footlights)"
"What do you call a midnight run to get ecstasy? A nocturnal E-mission!!! I came up with this a few years ago and thought I should share with the masses:)"
"my friend told me on first dates i should just ""be myself"" and ""be confident"" and i was like ""ok but which one?"""
"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A shit zoo."
"[NSFW] What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged"
"Where's the loneliest place on earth at? Hillary Clinton's vagina."
"I hear Ireland's the richest country in the world... Its capital is always Dublin."