198861

Joke of the Day

"I saw Jesus going to the bathroom today. Holy shit."

"How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes? You pull down their genes."

"What is 12 inches long and hangs infront of a cunt? Trump's tie"

"My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life... She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse."

"Don't know if the boss will appreciate my sense of humor in this meeting, but either way the stripper is already paid for."

"Some dude told me he's had 100 times more girls than me which made me laugh so much because 100 x 0 is still 0."

"How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !"

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? [Click here for the punchline](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1yya5x/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_in_suspense/)"

"Abdul Ali was seriously injured in a car crash & he has been on life support. Today his family had to make an agonizing decision. They closed the shop to visit him......."

"Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids."