198839

Joke of the Day

"Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, ""Let's eat kids"" becomes ""Let's eat punctuation""."

"The Republican primary race should be called ""The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on."

"A cave man walks into a bar... ""Hey, Joe, has any one invented booze yet?"""

"How do mute people tell each others secrets? They put on mittens."

"What does a cannibal drink for breakfast? A cup of Joe."

"Girl: So, your dating profile says you enjoy long walks by the sea & making ur own wine? Jesus: ON Girl: What? Jesus: Long walks ON the sea"

"Walked in on the big pillow in bed with my favorite blanket. Feel so betrayed."

"Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions."

"Jesus drove a Honda, but nobody knew about it. For I did not speak of my own accord. - John 12:49"

"How did the girlfriend satisfy her secretly gay boyfriend? I don't know, I guess she really had him pegged."