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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Eric cartman and deez nuts? One is a dick from Southpark, the other parks south of my dick"

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? 'Meet Patty!'"

"A man sees a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down a jail from a rope... ...he looks at him for a second, and says,""Well, that's a little condescending."""

"What do you call a promise you can't keep? A campaign promise."

"My company issues user id's to its new employees based on the 1st letter of their 1st name and the 1st 3 letters of their last name. I feel sorry for my new coworker Tim Watson."

"How do you have sex with a vegetable? Ask if they want to-mate-O."

"How do farmers party? They turnip the beets."

"Give a man a fish... ...and feed him for one meal. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a man a fire, he stays warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire and he stays warm for a lifetime."

"Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed."

"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."