198830

Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you're considering trying BDSM with your SO, don't start at a costume party. Oops wrong sub"

"What do you call a group of rioters attacking a music store? Luters"

"Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers in the winter time? To keep Hillary's chin warm!"

"How do you get 100 babies into a bowl? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips"

"""why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?"" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly"

"I've opened a restaurant called 'Karma'... There's no menu, you just get what you deserve."

"Since we're doing electrician jokes......... Q: What's the difference between God and an electrician? A: God doesn't think **he's** an electrician."

"Who's winning Went to visit my Granddad. He was watching a basketball game. ""What's the score Gramps?"" ""92 to 86."" ""Who's winning?"" I asked. ""92"""

"Want to know why I look terrible? Well, half of it is my mother's fault."

"When I'm on reddit When I'm drunk on reddit: ""Perhaps an up vote for this fine sir, he provided intriguing content."" When I'm sober on reddit: ""YOU SHALL ALL BE DOWN VOTED! NO ONE SHALL BE UP VOTED!"""