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Joke of the Day

"Want to know why I look terrible? Well, half of it is my mother's fault."

"Saw this in a Textbook today What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them"

"I asked a scientist how close humanity is to speed-of-light travel ""We're relatively far off."""

"Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're plane wrong."

"Don't you hate it, when you offer someone help and the other person says yes"

"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."

"Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake? Because she had one heck of an ex-goose"

"Q: What do the Starship Enterprise and Toilet tissue have in common? A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons."

"[murder occurs] ME: how terrible. why can't we love each other [someone slightly inconveniences me] ME: I will execute your entire family"

"Why does Josh Brown beat his wife? Just for kicks"