151288

Joke of the Day

"When I'm on reddit When I'm drunk on reddit: ""Perhaps an up vote for this fine sir, he provided intriguing content."" When I'm sober on reddit: ""YOU SHALL ALL BE DOWN VOTED! NO ONE SHALL BE UP VOTED!"""

"We had a pop quiz in culinary school today. It was a piece of cake."

"My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids' menu!!"

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today... ...It is already tomorrow in Australia."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"I told my wife that she was sounding like her mother and I realized that was a mistake after I regained consciousness."

"There are bats hanging of a branch upside down all except one. Two bats comment: ""What's happened to this one? - I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."

"Definition of a really good friend. What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend? A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!"

"If hearing ""I love you"" was enough, we'd all buy parrots and live happily ever after."

"What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire."