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Joke of the Day

"My problem is I take things too literally. Like when my wife said she'd give an arm and a leg to lose weight."

"I cant stop eating ice cream... It's a rocky road to addiction."

"Science: I rely on observable data and logic. Religion: I prefer scripture and faith. Astrology: I like turtles."

"A fish swims into a brick wall... Damn."

"Eric Clapton So over the years Eric Clapton has developed an aversion to Microsoft and prefers to use hardware made my by Apple instead. Why? Simply because Windows killed his child."

"Did you guys hear about the scandal with the South Korean president? She did the right thing and accepted Seoul responsibility."

"There's a steering wheel in my pants It's driving me nuts"

"Why did the Ethiopian cry when he opened up a read only document? It wasn't editable."

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"

"Happy New Year everyone....and may your worries this year last no longer than a Kardashian marriage ."