198782
Joke of the Day
"Brigadier Popcorn was recently demoted. He is a colonel now."
Next Joke
"""My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom."" *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens"
"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"
"Now that Benedict XVI is out of work... ...like all good celebs, he's releasing a fragrance. Expect to see Popepourri on the shelves this summer."
"Cut to Obama and Biden silently eating schwarma."
"What's the difference between a horse and a zebra? A lawyer."
"I will climb the highest mountain. Swim the deepest sea. I will cross the desert land. I would do anything to get the fcuk away from you."
"Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world."
"Just spilled red wine ALL OVER my insides."
"If I had a dollar for every girl that turned me down... They wouldn't turn me down anymore."