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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee how I like my employees Free and Black (I know this joke is around but I feel like this is the best wording) Don't downvote because it's racist, it's still a joke"

"Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret"

"What's blue and tacky? Smurf shit"

"Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?"

"A man got hit in the head with a drink... It's okay, though; it was a soft drink."

"How many Vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW SON YOU WEREN'T THERE!!"

"How is a 9 volt battery and a woman's anus similar You know it's wrong, but sooner or later you're going to put your tongue on it"

"I'm hungry. Nice to meet you, Hungry!"

"What do you call a gay quadriplegic? A tomato. It's a vegetable that's a fruit!"

"My parents are so poor.... If I dont wake up with a boner Christmas morning I'll have nothing to play with."