38994

Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW SON YOU WEREN'T THERE!!"

"In god we trust Everyone else must pay cash"

"On this day in history: people related to you whose names you do not know performed actions that were never recorded."

"What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash? A rootabaga."

"The Greek dilemma: If you are swimming in a sea of shit and someone throws a turd at you, do you duck?"

"Going to prison I was just sentenced to twenty years for my part in a timeshare fraud. I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 10 years."

"Best Bang for your Buck! would make a great punchline for a joke about bambi and the intricate workings of an illegal woodland critter prostitution service"

"Instead of expecting your wife to make you dinner every night like it's 1950, man up and develop a cocaine habit so you don't need to eat."

"My doctor said diarrhea is hereditary. I guess it runs in your genes"

"Fabulous Prime: The Gay Transformer."