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Joke of the Day

"""IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--"" ""stop rapping, Grandma"" ""--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"""

"What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy? Decalfinated."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change shit."

"Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest."

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? Because he fingered A Minor."

"Why do the undead read cringe stories? Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE."

"If I die before I wake, I pray the lord will clear my browsing history."

"I think my virginity is growing back."

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"There's no place like home. (to poop)"