19874

Joke of the Day

"Why did? Why did the house cross the road, One of the most difficult to solve cross the road jokes, I'll give the answer when you all give."

"I need new jokes to write in people's birthday cards. The one I've been using for years is getting pretty stale: ""Happy Bird Day!"" Then I draw a bird. Thanks /r/jokes!"

"Unexpectedly meeting a celebrity is cool, unless.... It's Chris Hansen."

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."

"What's blue and fucks old people? Me in my lucky blue coat."

"Have you heard the joke they don't tell stupid people?"

"9 volt battery and assholes A woman's asshole is like a 9 volt battery. You know you shouldn't, but soon or later you're gonna put your tongue on it!"

"What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use? The Hodor-eliminating kind."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? No potatoes."

"Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola"