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Joke of the Day

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail last night? Yeah, there's a small medium at large!"

"Why did Kyle Crane have to change the lightbulb? because he had a dying light"

"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."

"I Heard that the Afterlife in Greek Mythology was Pretty Boring. I wonder why Hades didn't liven things up a bit."

"You can pretty much tell me anything is an anagram and I'll believe it. I'm not about to rearrange a bunch of letters like some doctor"

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird"

"Anytime I cannot find my kids I just go to the bathroom and wait for them to barge in"

"(GoT Joke) Why did the King's Justice join Run DMC? Cuz he be Ilyn."

"Dominos dropped the ""pizza"" from its name because they're not legally allowed to call that pizza."