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Joke of the Day

"I need new jokes to write in people's birthday cards. The one I've been using for years is getting pretty stale: ""Happy Bird Day!"" Then I draw a bird. Thanks /r/jokes!"

"What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? ""That's a waist of paper!"""

"[Pun] There's something about the sky... There was a man in an airplane and he had just over dosed on alcohol, one could say he really was HIGH -<>~<>- ^those are what I call 'pun glasses'"

"Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body. Every time I pull one it makes my arse hole twitch."

"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."

"[ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S"

"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny."

"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless."

"My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM."

"Why can't the average white girl pass Math? Because she can't even."