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Joke of the Day

"Guy : Damn Girl, are you a newspaper? Girl : No, Why? Guy : Because there is a new fucking issue with you every day."

"A thug holds a gun to a dictionarys head and asks "" final words?"" the dictionary says ""zyzzyva."""

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was out-standing in his field."

"Dance like theres no tomorrow OH MY GOD THERES NO TOMORROW WHY ARE WE DANCING"

"My dream girl is basically a pizza in a mini skirt."

"Out for the Count by Esau Stars"

"I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?"

"How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? ""What kind of answer did you have in mind?"" Two one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget."

"If your girlfriend says ""my pyramid is late..."" Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now"

"I've been trying to think of a name for my Cricket shop. But I'm stumped."