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Joke of the Day

"If your girlfriend says ""my pyramid is late..."" Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now"

"Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting... But actually it's mostly Data entry."

"Two Guys Peeing off a bridge- One guy looks over at the other- ""Man, This water is Cold! ""Yeah...It's deep, Too-"

"Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?"

"*sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl."

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"What is the collective noun for a group of depressives? A melancolony"

"I got arrested for killing a black man They charged me with impersonating a police officer."

"Limbaugh is leaving the US because of Health Care Reform? Well good luck finding a country with indoor plumbing but no socialized medicine!"

"9 out of 10 people agree that it's weird to stand on top of the toilet and ask them survey questions over the stall wall."