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Joke of the Day

"I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?"

"NSFW Every time I see a picture of a girl and think ""I'd do her"" I have to remind myself... I'll never get the grade school yearbooks done like that."

"When's sex not work? When it's for play."

"I'm hiring a motivational speaker for my lazy eye."

"Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States? Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings."

"I can only imagine Hugh Hefner ejaculating is like a really weak firecracker going off in a bag of flour."

"I think my friend is a racist. He's been known to tell a few colorful jokes."

"The president of a popular mail-order business just died. The funeral will be held in 3 - 5 business days."

"Getting your shit together just sounds unsanitary"

"What do you call a Communist sniper? A Marxman."