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Joke of the Day

"In the Super Mario Bros movie, instead of a gag reel, did they have... bloopers?"

"Hey Customer Service Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it?!?"

"Do you want to hear a really condescending joke? ... Do you even know what that means?"

"Lightbulb replacement..... How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one."

"I went to a self defence class last night and the instructor told me to ""take him by surprise and attack him"". So when I saw him in Walmart the next day I threw a can of beans at his head."

"How does a handwriting analyst determine how his lover is feeling? He looks into his lover's 'I's."

"I just read the biography of the guy who invented Super Mario Bros. Did you know that when he was a kid people used to laugh at him when he would kill turtles with a hammer?"

"What do you call a police officer that stays in bed all day underneath the blankets? An undercover cop!"

"How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es."

"I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person. Edit: WHY THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE JOKES FRONT PAGE"