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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to hear a really condescending joke? ... Do you even know what that means?"

"If I went house hunting I'd take a really big gun."

"Whats the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him."

"man walks into a bar with no mouth bartenders says ""looks like you have a drinking problem"""

"No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again."

"If I die before I wake, I pray the lord has ice cream cake."

"So I drew a perfect circle today. You could say I finally got around to it."

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food... Neither have they."

"If somebody stops to ask me directions, I give them directions to my house. see you in twenty minutes new best friend."

"Damn girl, are you a hoover? Cuz dam"