231598

Joke of the Day

"'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail."

"What do Romeo and Juliet have in common with melons? They both cantaloupe."

"When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup..."

"Admit it, no one really knows how to use the memory function on a calculator. We're all just too embarrassed to ask now."

"What's the difference between an inaccurate hunter and a constipated owl? One's a shooter that can't hit, the other is a hooter who can't shit."

"My sergeant just told me this... Im going to get an old car, take a sledge hammer to the back bumper repeatedly , then get a bumper sticker that says ""I brake for tailgaters."""

"Is anyone here named Jeff? Jeff: Yes. Jeoff: Yeos."

"Why don't black people dream? Because we killed the last one that did."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"No one has ever said, ""You know what would make this even better? Turkey bacon."""