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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she was hungry and told me to order food... So I got us a hooker cuz I heard great things about their seafood buffet."

"If we become engaged will you give me a ring? Sure, what's your phone number?"

"Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend..."

"Why can't Skrillex go fishing? He always drops the bass. Teehee"

"teacher: are u a visual thinker, auditory thinker, or kinesthetic thinker me: oh im not a thinker"

"What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest? Ones a pant in the country the others a..."

"Does anybody know if Maternity Wards are open today?"

"What's the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser? Depth perception."

"Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa."

"How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget? The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring."