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Joke of the Day

"Critics agree that plot considerations did not justify the near-constant nudity in your film ""How To Safely Use A Ladder In The Workplace"""

"All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates ""I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."""

"What's the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches? 6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak."

"It's as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before."

"I could make way more Ayn Rand jokes here, but most of you would be too weak and altruistic to understand them. Let alone profit from them."

"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."

"They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but actually... A plateau is."

"What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking? There's no place like OM."

"What do you call a gang of Country musicians jamming the shit out of some good ol' music? A twang-bang"

"""Plagiarism squad reporting for duty sir!"" ""Copy that"""