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Joke of the Day

"Karma is like 69: ""You get, what you give"

"Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out..."

"That awkward moment when ur mom doesn't know the words to a song so she screams ""HAIL SATAN"" & explodes"

"Why are X-wings so grubby? Rebel scum."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" *slap* ""We will ask questions!"""

"*toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?"

"What does Deadpool need? Someone to merc him shut up."

"Nice truck! Sorry about your small d^i^i^i^i^k"

"The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone."

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?"