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Joke of the Day

"What does Deadpool need? Someone to merc him shut up."

"What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck? A firequacker."

"Archaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt has found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts they believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher"

"You ever randomly hear your mom singing 'Candy Shop' and then die a little inside?"

"I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don't answer that either."

"What did the candle say when he was down on his luck? I'm at wick's end."

"Clean and jerk is a weight lifting term? Oh... *Tosses tissues in the trash*"

"If I had an email for every Hillary Clinton joke being made right now I'd have none."

"What's the difference between the average yogurt and the United States of America? if you leave a yogurt alone for two-hundred years it'll develop a culture (also it can be fat free)"

"I used to be in a wheelchair.... But I kept getting pushed around. I thought this joke up at work where we deal with wheelchairs and thought I'd share."