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Joke of the Day
"From the man himself: What brand of gum does Neil DeGrasse Tyson chew? Eclipse."
Next Joke
"Mozart got sick and tired and decided to slaughter all his chickens. They wouldn't stop going Bach bach bach."
"What did the school in Egypt finally get? A new bus."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Credit to my 15 yo son who made this one up. I'm fairly certain he browses Reddit but he wouldn't admit it to me."
"Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up."
"Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one."
"A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles."
"What's the best part of domestic violence jokes? The punchline"
"how did the constipated... How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem... He just worked it out with a pencil."
"Took my wife to the doctor today, to try and get her tourettes sorted Turns out that she doesn't have it, and I am actually a cunt and she wants me to fuck off"