198084

Joke of the Day

"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"

"DOG: she keeps using heart emojis when we text DOG FRIEND: which color heart? DOG: *shows friend phone* the gray one DOG FRIEND: omg"

"There's only 3 types of people in the world. Those that can count, and those that can't."

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."

"What did the right eye say to the left? There's something between us that smells.. *drops mic*"

"Why don't computers have any brothers? They are all trans-sisters."

"Butter Wanna hear a joke about butter? I ""butter"" not tell you, you might ""spread it""...haha...makes me laugh every time that one."

"I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by outrunning the cops."

"I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, ""No whey, Jose."""

"Sorry, ladies; I've never had a period. Can't relate. Had a semicolon once, after being hit by a bus, so I feel like that was pretty close."