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Joke of the Day

"Jesus Christ walks into a motel and drops a handful of nails on the counter. He asks Can you put me up for the night ?"

"How are bad dubstep and constipation similar? Both leave you waiting for the drop."

"Where do one-legged people go to eat? IHOP."

"WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken."

"Abdul Ali was seriously injured in a car crash & he has been on life support. Today his family had to make an agonizing decision. They closed the shop to visit him......."

"Why Can't A Bike Stand On Its Own? It's two-tired!"

"My wife is so much better looking than me... ...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries. Credit: Charles Demers"

"I'm not sure how I feel about people who are missing an arm. On one hand, they're probably nice people..."

"As a white, male acoustic-guitar owner, it appears I'm legally obligated to post a video of myself playing on YouTube."