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Joke of the Day
"*gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*"
Next Joke
"They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile. Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds."
"Q: How do librarians file melted marshmallows? A: According to the Gooey Decimal System."
"With Fifty Shades of Grey that came out today, cinemas should serve ketchup... ...for all the fish fingers"
"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"
"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!"
"What would you call a set of old school rapper emojis? Em-OGs"
"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."
"Back in WW2 I used to be a seaman... Now I just put it all over my wife's ass."
"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."