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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea & a lentil? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a lentil in my face"

"I don't like jam but my marmite Note : Girlfriend was determined this was a good joke, I thought it was trash. You decide."

"A guy is fucking his sister... she says ""it's weird you fuck like dad"" and he answers ""yeah that's what mom said too""."

"They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country... ...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million."

"guys calm down squirrels invented parkour"

"I love being a gynecologist I find that I'm always hard at work."

"Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts."

"I'm exhausted. I just did 100 sit ups. The fact that I did them over the course of 40 years doesn't diminish the accomplishment."

"I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]"

"What's big and brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre"