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Joke of the Day

"They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country... ...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million."

"Mom, why is the internet so slow Well, either your brother loads something down or your sister loads something up."

"If you are hotter than me, wouldn't that make me cooler than you."

"Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight."

"Did you hear about the neckbeards that raped the killer clown? They did it, Reddit."

"What does a terrorist in Antarctica say? Allahu Akburrrrrr"

"My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.."

"When cats are sad... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Cat: ""Shot of tequilla."" *Bartender pours it.* *Cat slowly pushes it off the bar.* Cat: ""I'll have another."""

"Shave legs ?? Bikini wax ?? Lose 10 lbs ?? Pluck eyebrows ?? Mani/pedi ?? Sexy panties ?? Ready for my big *date! *gynecologist"