197797

Joke of the Day

"People with chrons disease Really need to get their shit together."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just beat the room for being black."

"I got stuck in a blender. Pour me..."

"I murdered a load of Jehovah's at church today. Don't worry, I left no witnesses."

"I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."

"Did you hear the one about the baseball player murdered mid-game? He went down swinging!"

"[consoling grieving widow] so I guess you'll be looking for a new owner for his pokemon collection?"

"My boss told me, ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."". I'm currently sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume!"

"[phone rings] ""We've removed your son's missing picture from our milk cartons."" ""You found him?"" ""No, people stopped buying milk."""