197727

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Ill tell you tomorow."

"Mom: What are you hiding in there? -nuthin [Vin Diesel noises from closet] M: Is Vin Diesel in there? -...yes Vin Diesel: [from closet] No."

"What do you call a potted cactus that has grown in the shape of a penis? A dildon't"

"my test required a number two, pencil i thought it was a pretty shitty requirement"

"*checking out of Hotel California* You can check-out any time you like ""Okay yes, now"" But you can never leave! ""Ugh where's your manager"""

"How many women with PMS does it take to change a... just SHUT UP, OKAY! SHUT UP, (sobbing) SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

"""I must go,"" said my friend. ""Why?"" I asked. He said, ""I need to feed my baby hamsters."" I said, ""That's no way to raise a child."""

"When does a joke become a dad joke? After the delivery (Pls....just let me go and don't hurt my family)"

"Stephen is a much nicer name than ""hen from a previous marriage."""