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Joke of the Day

"*checking out of Hotel California* You can check-out any time you like ""Okay yes, now"" But you can never leave! ""Ugh where's your manager"""

"LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No."

"""Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one."""

"Have you heard about the midget Klan member? He was a little racist."

"What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols"

"4-year-old: What's ""saying grace?"" Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave?"

"Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7."

"What did Superman get at the supermarket? A Super Bowl"

"Word on the streets is.... ""LOADING ONLY"""

"Last summer I planned to elope with my Cherokee fiance but she had her reservations."