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Joke of the Day

"*im watching a babe on a trampoline when her boob pops out* ""whoah"" *her other boob pops out* ""WHOAH"" *a third boobs pops out* ""WHOOOAAHHHH"""

"Is it ok if i touch the paintings i have poor eyesight. also i have to have BBQ sauce on my hands because of religion"

"It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia"

"Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position."

"I spilled coffee all over my Macbook... ...now it won't go to sleep."

"What's E.T. short for? His legs are small."

"What's the Russian word for water? Vodka"

"I like playing chess with bald men in the park... although its hard to find 32 of them."

"Boys: I may not have the biggest boobs, but I sure do have the right number of 'em!"

"No thanks, fantasy football. I already have a fantasy boyfriend, a fantasy sex life & a fantasy bank account. I'm good."