149727

Joke of the Day

"I love the concept of karma. It means all the people I mistreat and fuck over every day must have it coming."

"The Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, has passed away... ...the band is now known as ""The Beatless""."

"How do you know if a woman is hot for you? When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse."

"Roses... Roses are red violets are blue - I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."

"Judge: *whispering* pls stop introducing yourself like this just because u work in my chambers it doesn't m- Me: YES HI IM HIS CHAMBERMAID"

"You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father's Day, internet."

"Why do girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the pre-school? He woke up."

"What bird can lift the most? A crane"

"My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids menu!!"