197616

Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much it costs, to which the bartender replies ""For you my friend, no charge""."

"What do you call a female deer that hangs out outside of a pickle factory? A dill-doe"

"It's fine to eat chicken with skin but serve beef with skin and everybody just starts freaking out."

"I saw a Russian eating a potato.. I said ""Whoa! too soon"". RIP M. Hedberg"

"HEAR YE, MORTALS. AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER. FUCKERY DOTH PLAGUE THE LAND. TIS MINE DUTY TO- *falls off barstool*"

"BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes."

"Oops. Everyone brought their ""see you next year""s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"I'm so sick of being white it's like playing a video game on easy"

"If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms."